Agelique Tung and Rob Moore watch a montage of footage from the September 11, 2001 attacks on New York City and Washington D.C. at the beginning of a 9-11 memorial service at a church in Chelsea on Tuesday. Tung and Moore were both at the World Trade Center on 9-11, Tung for a business meeting and Moore as a firefighter responding to the scene. Both told their stories. (©Ken Ritchie/The Madison Courier) You cannot compare tragedies. I know that, but here’s my thought.
I lost a brother in a car accident on October 19, 2000. He was 14.
Millions of people have had similar losses and we all have to get through them in our own ways.
On September 11, many people lost loved ones in a series of terrorist attacks and they all have to get through it in their own ways.
The thing I am wondering is: How does the replay of images from the attacks at services like this one weigh on the victims’ friends, families and coworkers year after year?
The planes crash, the buildings burn, the people jump to their deaths and the towers fall down after them.
As this service began, the pastor chided those who have admitted a fatigue from the images replayed at these events. He not so subtly stated that those who died deserve to be remembered and if you don’t like watching these shows, there must be something cold or uncaring in your nature.
I disagree.
The victims DO deserve to be remembered, just like my brother who died before he grew up and just like a grandmother who gives in to old age and moves on to heaven.
But why relive the death?
If there were video footage of my brother’s accident I would not want to watch it.
I want to look back through photographs of him as an infant, child and young teen. I want to remember his smile and laugh, not the carnage and pain of his passing.
We all get through it in our own way and my way is not to pick the scab and mourn again and again. My way is to smile and sometimes cry at a passing memory and then continue on with life.
New York City Firefighter Rob Moore pauses while telling of his experiences at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. (©Ken Ritchie/The Madison Courier)